


Control

by bree_cakes



Category: None - Fandom
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Being Lost, Constructed Reality, Control Issues, Depression, Fear, Freeform, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Implied/Referenced Torture, Loneliness, Loss of Control, Mind Manipulation, Mind Rape, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Not Beta Read, Open to Interpretation, Other, Overthinking, POV First Person, Panic Attacks, Random & Short, Rape, Rape Fantasy, Rape and Depression Comparison, Rape/Non-con Elements, References to Depression, Self-Denial, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Small Work, Suicidal Thoughts, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Unknown Person - Freeform, dark void, fear of losing control, might edit later, practice, random work, reality interpretation, references to rape, sorry for any mistakes, unbreakable cycle, unspecified gender, violet parr reference
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-27
Updated: 2017-04-27
Packaged: 2018-10-24 14:20:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10743456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bree_cakes/pseuds/bree_cakes
Summary: Implied meanings to put the reader in the mind of a rape situation where the protagonist cannot escape.





	Control

I don’t ever plan for it to take control. It’s a cycle that torturously repeats without my full consent. It chooses to unwantingly lead me into the dark; where I am left alone. 

I follow because there are no expectations for me in the void; just yet. I hear distant echoes but manage to wonder where it all went wrong.

In the past, I have tried avoiding it. It’s reaction wasn’t immediate; leaving me to wonder if i was able to now live peacefully knowing i’m not being followed anymore. I was wrong. But if I recall correctly, i’m almost always wrong. 

The void no longer echos and I am left with loud conversations that don’t stop. Each new one seeming to pierce the shield I was once taught to never let break. 

How naive was I to think that words could never get to me.

It’s back now. It left me alone only to torture me with it’s lengthened disappearance. Wanting to drive me mad with the unanswered question that was “when”. 

I grow stiff as it makes its way toward me. The air that was once inside my lungs is replaced with its venomous odor. My eyes begin to swell with tears for the actions it bestows on my skin. It has done this before but i continue to think the movements are completely new every time. 

I cannot get used to this.

I try to grasp onto reality, where everything should be normal, only to remember that normality is an illusion; because, “what is normal for the spider, is chaos for the fly”.

“I can’t talk, but my brain won’t shut up” (v.p.). I desire to want to be heard but maybe if given the chance, I will lose the will to do so due to my scrambled thoughts. 

The contact finally seizes. They’ve mentioned before that a limit is required so the aftermath of my possible consequences could not be reached.

I choose to follow along, because I think there isn’t a point in sharing an irremediable act that can cause pain to others. I think everyone doesn’t need to suffer as well and try to care for my own well-being. 

I am failing.

This considerate yet selfish act does not seize the pain. It does not seize the odor that has filled my nostrils nor stop the reason behind that very reason from leaving it’s rough remains latched onto my skin and memories. 

I seem to have lost count of the scars I have. Questioning whether everyone knows that not all scars show nor, do all wounds heal. Sometimes, we might not see the pain someone feels, for we all have scars and untold stories.

I don’t ever plan for it to take control, but when it leaves and i am able to step out of the darkness, I have been considering to call home for a while, i am asked by others if something is wrong. I only smile in return, reply with “nothing” and walk away to only whisper “everything”.

  
-b.a.

**Author's Note:**

> Overall, I kinda just randomly decided to write this with my intentions of not wanting to offend anyone and used non explicit yet implied meanings to put the reader in the mind of a rape situation; where the protagonist cannot escape. Just like depression, people can choose to follow along because it can be easier than knowing they’ll be hurting more by rejecting what is going on. It is still important to know that the feeling of inescapability is okay and getting help is possible.  
> Thanks for reading my first work on this site! Please let me know what you think!


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